everyday milestones
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
She quotes scripture a lot. And appropriately !! She draws beautiful conclusions and encourages others while she raises her good sized family and homeschools all of her munchkins with grace and style.
Did I mention that the site is beautiful? I don't know what she looks like but I'll bet she's beautiful, too.
I, on the other hand, have turned in to a middle aged woman facing an empty nest and recipes that fit 9x13 inch pans when we have turned into 9x9 inch family.
Can I read this blog and just feel encouraged - plucking out any good that will touch my life today? Or will I become depressed because I didn't raise my children as beautifully as she is raising her children? (do you know that they have never given each other Christmas gifts, instead give gifts to the needy in war torn countries?) I spent a lot of time each holiday season finding the just right lego set or doll. Should I feel badly about that? I could. Maybe I even should.
But one of the joys of being 50 something is that I really can look back on my years of parenting and say "I did the best I could." And then I must trust God to take care of the rest.
If you click on my blog and you hear classical music you can assume you are at the wrong site. Although I do enjoy classical music, I have become a huge fan of Jack Johnson lately.
But please don't tell the blog lady. I don't think she'd understand.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Into the big green chair in our bedroom, I would climb each morning, pulling one leg up under me while using my right foot to slowly rock back and forth. First reading from a morning devotional, then writing in a journal with my favorite pen, I'd sip a hot cup of coffee, while I'd slowly wake up to face my day.
After two surgeries in one year, my dad having a traumatic accident while we were visiting and our two oldest sons moving out, I found that chair more and more often throughout the day. I'd rock back and forth while I watched the birds in the big old birch tree out front and saw the neighbors and their pets rushing here and there, all while I kept an eye on the weather.
In the evenings, it became easy to click on the TV across the room. Click, click, clicking the remote, trying to find something. Maybe a new life?
Don't get me wrong, I loved the life I was living as a home educating mom. But our children were growing up and moving on, and the homeschool mom part of my life was becoming obsolete.
When a bedroom became completely empty and we didn't have enough kids at home to fill the bedrooms with even one occupant, I grieved that our household was getting smaller after all those years of bursting at the seams.
But this did not change the facts that the bedroom was empty, it had the potential to be a den, and I hated the wallpaper. In a fit of insanity, I offered my husband a deal. “I'll clear all the wallpaper off the walls, if you will paint.”
Days later, I had no fingernails (oh, they make a tool to scrap the wallpaper and paste off with?) and I had ripped, pulled, complained and scrubbed until every trace of wall paper was gone. Eventually the room was painted a calm “Almond Brittle”, a new light fixture was hung, and my roll top desk, little shelves and file cabinet were moved in to their new places. Favorite framed cards and sayings were ready to be hung on the walls to inspire me.
Plunking myself into that big green chair in our bedroom, I cried. I had always longed for a space of my own but I longed for all my kids home even more. Silly me. Really, I was immensely proud of them and had been their loudest cheerleader as they found their way. Now the two oldest were graduated from college and working at meaningful jobs. No way would I wish either of them back to the top bunk in that bedroom down the hall.
Our bedroom looked empty now that all the office furniture was gone. My husband and I pushed our bed and dressers here and there, back and forth, looking over the whole room and shaking our heads. “No, this just doesn't look right.”
Looking at that green chair, I realized it didn't fit our room anymore. It was big and clunky and faded and old. Like I was feeling.
We banished it to the basement and dragged the compact wooden rocker upstairs, setting it near the window by the good reading light.
Both my husband and I eyed the TV. It was convenient and comfortable to lie in our bed at night click, click, clicking the remote but without a word, we both gave a nod of our heads and exiled the TV to an upstairs' closet.
These changes may seem small but they were a new beginning. I had been reminded that my life couldn't be found in the green chair or the TV or turning the clock back to when we all fit in this nest we call home.
You won't find me staring out the window at the birch tree anymore. And you won't find the green chair in the basement. Son number three snagged it for his bedroom.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
"Well, I know some homeschoolers and they don't know nothin'."